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A PERFECT 10?

Here are some random thoughts regarding Nebraska's joining the Big Ten Conference.

* Friday's announcement by Tom Osborne and UNL Chancellor Harvey Perlman came with all the suspense of Mark Mangino making a second trip through the buffet line.

* And now Texas and the Big 12 are staying together. No one in his right mind would believe this script. Hollywood would never buy it. Never.

* The problem with writing a column this week about Husker football is that it'll likely become obsolete before the ink dries.

* Who really believed that Texas would bolt to the Pac 10? As soon as the 'Horns discovered there wasn't going to be enough room in the Pac 10 for their massive egos, the marriage was off.

* What will the new Big 12 (10) conference be called? And why has Oklahoma been MIA?

* The irony is that the Big 12 has 10 teams and the Big Ten has 12. Sigh...

* It was strange bedfellows when Kansas Chancellor Bernadette Gray-Little called the University of Missouri's Chancellor Brady Deaton, pleading for the Tigers to stay in the Big 12 Conference. It's like White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel asking Glenn Beck for help.

* Colorado said it is holding the door open for future games with Nebraska. Don't look now, Buffies, but I don't think anyone here is interested.

* And Pete Carroll's being surprised at the severity of the NCAA sanctions against USC for the Reggie Bush scandal, reminds me of Capt. Renault's famous line, "I'm shocked, shocked that gambling is going on in here!"

* As soon as Carroll knew what USC's fate was going to be, he abandoned the sinking ship, just ahead of the rats.

* And first year USC head football coach, Lane Kiffin, should win an Oscar for Best Actor when he attempted to downplay the NCAA sanctions levied on the Trojans that include a loss of 10 scholarships and a two year ban on bowl games. "Instead of trying to win 14 games," Kiffin said, "I guess we'll just have to win 13."

* Now that Texas is not bolting for the Pac 10, it would have been fun to see Billy Bob bellying up to the counter at Starbuck's in Los Angeles, trying to order a Caramel Macchiato with non-fat milk and sugar free vanilla syrup.

* Am I the only one who thinks that Big Ten Commissioner Jim Delany is a dead ringer for Husker hoops head coach, Doc Sadler?

* Nebraska's future with the Big 12 was doomed from the beginning 15 years ago. Texas was like the guest you invite for dinner, but decides to move into your house, take over the master bedroom and the keys to your car, grabs your credit cards and bank accounts and forces you to live in a double wide in Mo Valley.

* Nebraska's move to the Big Ten might not have happened had Bo Pelini not resurrected the Husker football program and had Tom Osborne not been the Husker A.D.

* Harvey Perlman, despite his bungling of the Steve Pederson and Bill Callahan contracts, hit it out of the park for Nebraska fans when he blasted Texas for refusing to agree to share the TV revenue with the rest of the members of the Big 12.

* When has Nebraska ever had a bigger home game than this October 16th when Longhorns come to Lincoln? I didn't think so.

* I hope the Huskers won't be distracted by all the recent events this fall and can put all their efforts into winning football games.

* Wouldn't that be something if Texas and Nebraska meet in the Big 12 Championship game in December? Those two teams played in the first game back in '96. And sadly, the 'Horns beat the Huskers...I was there.

* Regarding Colorado's move to the Pac 10, it will be interesting when Skippy Neweasel's UCLA Bruins come to Boulder.

* The winners in the move to the Big Ten Conference will be the University, the students, the football program and most of the fans.

* Research and grant funds will increase dramatically.

* Nebraska's recruiting success in Texas may suffer some, but you can bet Bo and Carl Pelini are champing at the bit to recruit in Ohio and Michigan etc.

* The downside of leaving the Big 12 Conference are the Husker fans, especially in the state of Texas who have been able to count on seeing Nebraska play near them every year.

* Husker fans who for years could easily catch Husker away games in Manhattan, Lawrence and Ames will have much farther to go to catch Husker Big Ten road games.

* I hear that Madison, Wisconsin is beautiful in the fall.

* Weekend packages to Chicago and Indianapolis should be fun. How about taking the train?

* It will be interesting when ex-Husker and current Minnesota defensive coordinator, Kevin Cosgrove comes to Lincoln when the Golden Gophers come to Lincoln-that is, if he's still their DC.

* Husker fans are going to miss going to games played in late October and November in the warm climes of the state of Texas.

* I can't imagine Husker baseball games played in the wind, rain, ice and snow in March and April in places like Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania.

* Now that the Big 12 appears stable-at least for the moment-Turner Gill won't have to worry about being in a conference where his Jayhawks have to play teams like Ohio and Buffalo.

* I think most Husker fans think the Big Ten's traditions like Paul Bunyan's Axe, The Little Brown Jug and the Old Oaken Bucket are a bit silly. Aren't wins called just that – wins?

* There is the real possibility that Nebraska and Iowa could have an annual shoot-out the day after Thanksgiving. Wouldn't that be a blast for Hawkeye and Husker fans?

* BTW, what cute little trophy will be created for the winner of that game each year? The Golden Cornstalk? The Low Fat Milk Bucket? The Little Brown Manure Spreader? Sigh...

* That Husker fans might suffer some abuse at Big 12 road games this fall by those who want to blame Nebraska for trying to ruin the Big 12, may have some merit. But I don't think it will be more than usual. How about Buff fans who for years have had their jollies by yelling obscenities at, pouring urine on and slashing the tires of Husker fans? And how about those "polite" fans in Columbia?

* And most of us thought the offseason was going be boring.

AND MORE SPORTS

* I'm a big Los Angeles Laker fan. They need players other than Kobe Bryant, to step up their game especially on offense. Boston's defense in game 5 shut down the other four Laker players and forced Kobe into difficult shots. Andrew Bynum's bad knee has limited his play. And last year, it was Kevin Garnett who was injured for the Celtics. This is series is a classic match up between the two most successful teams in the history of the NBA. If the Lakers can survive Tuesday night, they will have the luxury of playing Game 7 at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on Thursday.

 

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